It’s inevitable that we argue as couples and families. But it’s really important that we learn to argue in a healthy way.

It should be done in a way that brings results, in a way that helps you as a couple or a family to live with more harmony  not less.

So how do you do this

Remember

* It’s not about winning and losing

* It is about sorting the issue and understanding the other persons for perspective

If Emotions are running high

• Take a breath ..take a moment ….find a way to step back.
• Say something neutral
• Try to listen instead of speaking
• Remember there does not have to be a winner
• Notice and comment on what you agree upon.
• Consider stepping away and returning to the issue, when everyone has cooled down.

Toxic behaviours when arguing 

• name calling
• personal insults
• blaming
• using the YOU word

see more on Newstalk  the Pat Kenny Show Mondays after 11.15